


Responsible for What You Have Tamed

by spirithorse



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirithorse/pseuds/spirithorse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m already unsure about one of us, I don’t need to be doubting two. Look me in the eye and tell me that you will be able to go through with the plan.” (A Titan Marco AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Responsible for What You Have Tamed

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Jeanmarco Week 2 (from Nov. 24-Nov. 30) for the prompt Titan Marco. The idea was inspired by [this post by Chellodello](http://chellodello.tumblr.com/post/67815595996/horrible-horrible-au-where-four-titans-are-sent). Title taken from the quote from _The Little Prince_ “You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

“You’re getting too close.”

“Annie-”

“No. I can see where this is going..”

“Annie, I promise that I-”

“ _Listen_. I’m already unsure about one of us, I don’t need to be doubting two. Look me in the eye and tell me that you will be able to go through with the plan.”

“I’ll be able to go through with it.”

“Look me in the eye. Fine then. Just remember that he doesn’t really see you when he looks at you. Everything he says, it isn’t meant for people like us.”

* * *

Marco had spent the day with his stomach in knots. It was all he could do to get Jean to stop hovering over him during breakfast, to pretend that it was just graduation nerves that was affecting his appetite instead of knowing what would happen today, what Bertholdt and Reiner were planning to do.

It had almost been a relief when they had found out that Eren was a shifter, because it meant that their plans changed. Reiner was no longer going to break through the inner wall, because that would mean that it would be harder to get to Eren. It was hard enough as it was now that the Stationary Guards had scooped him up for the mission to close up the wall. Their entire plan was screwed unless someone thought up something quick, but he hadn’t been able to get in contact with Bertholdt and Reiner, and Annie had been separated from him. And it was a relief, because Marco wasn’t sure that he was willing to go through with the plan any more.

The 104th weren’t just random strangers to him anymore, they were his fellow soldiers, his friends. His lover.

Marco was not about to turn his back on all of that, not when he had been regretting everything that he had done before they had won back the gas supply, regretting all the deaths that had happened.

He had been chosen as a part of the mission because he was personable and warm, the opposite of what Annie had been when they had entered the human civilization. He was supposed to smooth the way for them while Annie handled Bertholdt and Reiner, but it had been all too easy to just forget about that, because the 104th was so much more like a family to him than the collection of people back in their village that had raised him. The 104th cared for him beyond his ability to shift into a titan, how he could trick people into a sense of ease and how well he could fight. They cared for him, and Marco didn’t want to be a part of the reason that they died.

After Trost, it would be over, he would be done. He wasn’t going to become a monster like everyone else wanted him to. For the 104th, for Jean, he was going to be human.

Coming to that decision didn’t make his nerves calm any. They were still there, making Marco want to throw up his breakfast onto the titans waiting below. Even taking his turn dangling on the wall didn’t help, he just found himself staring at the mouths of the hungry titans snapping below him, feeling his stomach twist in disgust and some kind of horrible anticipation. He hoped that it would go away quickly when he clambered back to the top of the wall or when he took a short walk to try and stop himself from shaking.

All that did was bring him close to where Connie and Annie were looking out over Trost.

Marco’s first impulse was to ask Annie where Jean was, since the two of them had gone out into the city to act as decoys, but he didn’t want to face that glare that she was sure to give him. He could still remember the way that she had demanded an answer from him back when she had given him his one warning. If he hadn’t been able to look her in the eye and promise her that he could just let the rest of the 104th die, then he definitely couldn’t now.

He was about to walk away and go back to take another turn on the wall when he heard Connie speak. “I knew it. His maneuvering device is broken.”

Marco froze, his heart beating faster as he realized what Connie had said. Before he had the time to think about what he was doing, Marco walked over to the two, putting himself between Connie and Annie. “What’s wrong?”

Connie just pointed towards Trost, Marco having to walk closer to Connie to figure out what they were watching. When he did, he took a quick step back.

Jean was out there, grounded with broken gear and a titan walking towards him.

Marco didn’t think as he reached for his swords, there was nothing to think about. Jean needed their help, and he was going to get it. If Marco left soon, he could distract the titan and draw it away from Jean. At a distance, Marco could kill the titan and give Jean the time he needed to get the gear to get over the wall. Until then, it would be Marco’s job to make sure that Jean didn’t get eaten.

As he snapped the blades into the hilts, Marco briefly entertained the thought of transforming. Then he would be sure that Jean would get to the wall safely, even if Marco had to lift him up there himself. The titans would certainly abandon Jean when faced with something larger, they were simple minded like that. But he couldn’t risk it. Some other soldier could come and kill him before Jean was safe.

He walked to the edge of the wall, about to jump when Annie caught his arm. Marco was almost tempted to shake her off, but she just gave him a steady look, speaking in a low voice.

“Don’t. He’s just another casualty in this.”

“Not Jean.”

“Marco, this is your test. We need to be sure that you won’t betray us.” Annie jerked her chin towards the street. “Just let him die.”

“No. Choose anyone else.”

“Will that make a difference?”

Marco shook his head, not looking at Annie as he stepped off the wall. He didn’t hear her response, but that didn’t matter. He would save Jean and keep an eye on the rest of his teammates until the battle was done. Marco could deal with the consequences afterward, deal with how Bertholdt and Annie would react. Reiner would probably be on his side, considering how close he had gotten to the rest of the 104th too. Between the two of them, they could talk Bertholdt and Annie down

It wasn’t betrayal, it was Marco giving the last he could to their mission before he stepped down. If all of their class was dead, then they would have no one to watch their backs. Annie might not deem in necessary, but the four of them wouldn’t always be in the same place and they wouldn’t be able to shift into their titan forms to save themselves. Bertholdt and Reiner wouldn’t, they were already too well known. If enough members of the 104th survived than the others would have the cover that they needed, and Marco could bow out having accomplished his mission.

He sent his hooks into a nearby building, swinging around the titan in front of him to see Jean still struggling with the gear. Marco sighed in relief, readjusting his flight so he would come down in front of the titan. Even still, it looked like Jean wouldn’t get the gear off in time.

“Jean, stay calm!”

Marco saw Jean turn and look at him, but he only let himself get a glance. He focus had to be on landing and then darting away, ignoring whatever Jean had to say as he ran.

He only looked back once, to make sure that the titan was following him. As soon as he saw the creature, Marco allowed himself a smile, rushing towards the nearest building that would give him the height to kill it.

* * *

Marco landed on the roof of the houses, climbing his way to the peak to stare out over Trost.

Eren was getting close to the hole in the gate, which meant that their job would soon turn to simple titan killing with a known number of titans. It wouldn’t be easier, but it was certainly easier than when there had been titans flooding into Trost. And then, when they were done, he and Jean could go to the interior to serve the king, and his job would be done. Eren and his titan form weren’t Marco’s problem, his job was to just make sure that the others blended in and their cover wasn’t blown.

The sound of something landing behind him made Marco turn around, his eyes widening in fear before he registered who was actually standing on the roof of the house behind him.

He sighed and lowered his swords at the sight of Annie standing there, not daring to put them away, not even when Annie had hers sheathed. Especially not when she was giving him a level glare that he had learned meant trouble.

She crossed her arms over her chest, staring fixedly at him. “I thought I told you to let him die.”

“Annie, he’s important.”

“To you.”

“No, to all of us.” Marco sighed and shrugged. “We need people to help us, Annie. It would have looked more suspicious if I had let him die. He’s my boyfriend.”

“That was supposed to be an act too.”

“I couldn’t make it one.”

Annie huffed, pulling at her hood to settle it back into place. “We need to be able to trust you.”

“You know you can.”

“Then what are you going to do once have our graduation ceremony.”

“I’ll go into the Military Police.”

“With Jean.” Annie shook her head when Marco went to correct her. “Don’t bother, you already said that you couldn’t lie about that. So, you go into the Military Police with him and then what?”

“I do the job I was sent here to do.”

“And if he gets into trouble, who will you chose? Him or us?”

“When would that ever happen?”

“It happened once.”

Marco laughed, about to brush her off when he realized that she was serious. But there was nothing in training that he could remember, not when he had been so busy either walking the line that had been set for him or ignoring it completely when he had finally allowed himself to just be. There had been no tests for him there, just glares and sharp reminders about what he was, what the others saw him as. The only thing that had come close was the situation with the gas, but Marco knew that no one could have organized it. The four of them had been as distressed about that as anyone else. All of their training would have gone to waste if they had been unable to climb the walls, and no one would have had the chance to sneak away to shift, not when they had drifted back to where the other recruits had gathered like the scared teenagers that they actually were.

There was nothing…except for the incident earlier, the one time that she had stopped him from going out.

He narrowed his eyes. Now that he actually thought about it, now that he had the time to think about it, Jean’s maneuvering gear breaking made no sense. Marco had gone over Jean’s gear that morning, ignoring the taunts that Jean had thrown at him. He had wanted to be sure that Jean had gotten the best chance that Marco could give him to get out of Trost. That had been back when the original plan had still been in motion, back when they had been sure of themselves. Jean’s gear had been fine then, perfectly functional and it had been fine after when Marco had helped Jean take it off. He hadn’t checked it again when they had been ordered back into Trost, because he had assumed that nothing had happened.

Marco took a step back, nearly tripping off the roof. He caught himself by digging one blade into the tile, not daring to take his gaze from Annie. “You…”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen like that.” Annie looked ashamed for what she had done, but it wasn’t enough for Marco, not when his heart was pounding so loud that it almost blocked out what Annie was saying. “I thought that it would malfunction sooner, that he wouldn’t be noticed. Soldiers die all the time, Marco.”

“Would you have regretted it?”

Annie looked surprised, probably because she had never seen him so close to real anger. “Of course.”

“You would have hugged me and told me that you were  _sorry_? Sorry about what I had lost?”

“Yes. You’re allowed to care about them, but you were getting too close. The whole point is that we don’t care.”

Marco ignored her words, too focused on the mental image of Jean dying somewhere in Trost, alone and scared because his gear had malfunctioned. He probably wouldn’t have found out until they had brought the bodies in, and that scared him. He tightened his grip on his swords, staring down Annie. “Would you have told me?”

She shrugged. “You wouldn’t have had to know. But, because you saw, I decided to make it a test. A test you failed.”

“You haven’t tested Reiner like this.”

“I haven’t had to yet. And I’d have to do it differently. He’s not attached to them the same way you are. Reiner is in love with the idea of the rest of them and the role he’s playing. You actually care.” Annie sighed and turned away. “Listen, I’m not sorry for what I did, but I would have mourned over Jean’s death too. I mourn over everyone who dies, but I can’t save them all and neither can you. The next time this happens, you’re going to have to let him die, Marco.”

“No.”

“Marco, you can’t just-”

“If I have to watch my friends die and know that it’s my fault, if I have to do this thing, just let me have him. That’s all I’m asking you, Annie.” Marco took a deep breath to steady his voice. “Just let me have him.”

He saw her hesitate, hoping for a moment that she would let him go. That she would nod and walk away.

But she didn’t. Annie just sighed and turned to face him, her blades not coming out of their place. Instead, she just raised her hand, the simple motion more of a threat that the sight of her blades. Unless he wanted to push her further, he had to back down. But doing that would put the rest of the 104th in danger. All of their deaths would be his fault, because he didn’t stop them now, didn’t bother to speak up when something was wrong and Marco just couldn’t let that slide.

He jammed his blades back in place, standing up so he was balanced on the top of the roof. Marco watched Annie take the motion as the threat that it was. He didn’t care that she would fight him, he would fight back just as fiercely.

She ducked her head, staring at her hand. “I’m sorry Marco.”

Marco didn’t bother to justify her apology with an answer, choosing to take the chance to make his move. He charged at her, biting down on his hand as his feet skidded across the rooftop. He was still in motion when he collided with her, getting a glimpse of Annie biting down on her own hand as they fell to the street.

* * *

“H-hey Marco, is that you? Marco…what happened?”


End file.
